today was an okay day.

i got up around 7 am and went to the chinese place and got my laundry, after that i came home and showered and took a cab to claro com, and then when i got there it was still closed. so i went to ny bagel but had to leave cause of the ghetto ass r&b they were playing so fucking loud.

eventually i made it to claro com but ended up coming home 30 mins later cause i still left like it was too loud.

i started my sales job today and it wasn't so good. i didn't make one single fucking appointment. it's really hard to get people to buy something they really truly with all their heart don't want. it does make me feel bad and sorta useless. i'm looking at a few more options so let's see what happens.

today after i finished working Rodrigo and i had spanish/english lessons for 30 mins in the living room. it was fun. we wrote eachother letters and then corrected him. lately hes really into exericising but it really cracks me up to see him so hyped but it.

i wish that most o fmy life i had been keeping a journal or blog. i mean i did have several blogs, all are closed but one. after this post i'm going to important all the old entries from supslut.

i was watching some dumb music video about 3 mins ago and it was all filmed in chicago. it was so weird. the damen blueline stop was like the focal point and it made me really sad. that was my first train stop in chicago when i moved. i lived right there on the corner of division and damen next to picante. i miss wicker park and bucktown so much. i miss starbucks. i fucking hate brittany for calling me to ask how to order a nonfat green tea latte. i would probably stab someone for one of those and for sure for the matchagreentea blast from jambajuice mmm!!!

for some reason lately i fee like i need to write down my experiences or i'm going forget.

and im talking like random shit...such as..

that handsome guy at chase that i used to flirt with when i deposited my checks with the kids.
and the one day i come and he has a shiny wedding ring
but hed stil flirt with me and we both sounded nervous when we talk
its funny that later at beadniks i find out that all the girls in then neighborhood like him, he probably laughs his ass off to see how we react to his witty charm.

thats one example that i wish i would have written down before today. ahh.

oh well, from now on i'm keeping only whores cry. id ont care what people think about me or if current or ex boyfriends read it. this is my life and im not ashamed of myself anymore :)

i got a new job and i am so fucking thrilled!!! yay!!!!

flower in a bed.

Don't get me wrong I love my job to death. But why in god's name do people have to ask the most retarded questions. They say that no question is a stupid question - wrong. It's wrong!!

One day I'm just going to be like, I DONT KNOW THE ANWER and then I'm gonna get fired.

So today was one of those days when you wake up at nine am and still feel a little sleepy. This morning I smoked a bowl with Ale an John an laid around half the morning, after eating lunch and almost heading out to the NY bagel I realized it was after 3 pm. wtf Where have my days been going? All I know is this, I better soak it up and enjoy it cause soon I'm sure this fantasy will end. I like aimlessly living my days, stress free, and happy.

I almost went swimming with Rodrigo this morning but couldn't find the bottom to my bathing suit. So he went on his motor without me and abut ten mins after him leaving it started to storm crazy!! He was back shortly after that

So something I find slightly amusing is that - EVERYBODY in the house I live loses their keys. I love it. No one can bitch at me for losing stuff like they have my entire life cause everyone is so relaxed and as thoughtless as I am. I have lost my fucking key at least 3 time in the last month and I'd say the same for Rodrigo, Ale, and Pocho. Even now Tusa doesn't have his key. Oh god it's really funny.

So I'm dealing with an issue that sadly I am unable to post about in my blog. The country of Panama is too gossipy for me to write about it on the world wide web. But I just want to put down that I'm happy but very sad at the same time from this situation and I want it all to work out the way fate wants it to.

For now I will go. Here is the poem of the day

I Am Vertical - Sylvia Plath

But I would rather be horizontal.
I am not a tree with my root in the soil
Sucking up minerals and motherly love
So that each March I may gleam into leaf,
Nor am I the beauty of a garden bed
Attracting my share of Ahs and spectacularly painted,
Unknowing I must soon unpetal.
Compared with me, a tree is immortal
And a flower-head not tall, but more startling,
And I want the one's longevity and the other's daring.

Tonight, in the infinitesimallight of the stars,
The trees and the flowers have been strewing their cool odors.
I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.
Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping
I must most perfectly resemble them--
Thoughts gone dim.
It is more natural to me, lying down.
Then the sky and I are in open conversation,
And I shall be useful when I lie down finally:
Then the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me.

right now i just want to write here that i love my house. my roommates are the best people i have ever been surrounded by in my life. i am thankful for them and even how shitty they are sometimes (like all people) their greatness exceeds times a million. :)